Tag Archives: sexuality

Loving My Body One Orgasm At A Time

* October 19th the National Organization of Women celebrates Love Your Body Day. This post is part of the 2011 Love Your Body Day Blog Carnival.

When I was a freshman in college we had a “love your body day” presentation by a campus group. They posed the question “What do you love about your body?” Answers ranged from “my eyes” to “my biceps” to “the whole package” but almost all were in reference to what the individual found physically appealing about his or her body.

The coordinators then rephrased the questions and asked, “What do you love about what your body can do?” This took markedly more time. Answers ranged from “running 5 miles” to “laying down those sweet dance moves.” I think I said something about being able to walk up the 850 ft monstrous hill on campus everyday and thus avoiding the #80 bus.

But this was a cop out answer. Yes I am thankful I have legs that can carry me up a hill. Yes I love that my body is physically able. But what I love, what I really really just LOVE, is my body’s ability to orgasm.

Shockingly (or I guess not so shockingly given college freshman’s inability to talk about sex despite having vast indiscriminate amounts of it) no one in my group mentioned the big O or even thanked their hands for the effort on everyone’s 5-digit favorite pass time.

Our media is saturated with images of airbrushed cleavage, thigh and ass of just barley legal girls (not to mention the occasional side boob or crotch shot of a celebrity from overpaid, under scrupled paparazzi). They all reek of objectivity and over sexualization of women. Justifiably the counter culture screams of the injustice and points to all the other wonderful abilities of a woman’s body, to run, to be mobile, to be powerful, to be untraditionally beautiful.

Although a woman’s body is all of these things, it is also a cleavage, thigh and ass. And when it is appreciated fully for its ability to run, jump, skip and be beautiful, and perhaps touched in right combination either manually or with a partner’s generous help, a woman’s body is also sexy.

It is a fact we should not try to overlook on Love Your Body Day because it is an essential part of our bodies. Young girls are being taught via modern media how to look sexy, how to act sexy, how to squirm and moan sexy and how to sex sexy. They are not being taught how to actually experiment, explore or enjoy their sexy.

By only talking about the unsexy parts of the body, we are doing a disservice to young women. We are creating varsity soccer captains, student council presidents and Model UN representatives, who love their bodies and brains but wear ass-cheek revealing booty shorts with the words “sweetie” across the butt because a movie told them this is “sexy;” because no one told them part of loving your body is loving your own way of being sexy which usually does not include shorts with descriptive words scrawled across one’s backside.

I’m on a bit of a pedestal here but I’m going to preach it out while I have your attention. If we are ever going to truly teach girls how to love their bodies we are going to have to stop avoiding the sexy and start redefining it.

Sexy is not airbrushed nipples; it is not a series of carefully orchestrated positions in the best possible lighting followed by simultaneous orgasms; it not one image and it is not easy to define. Sexy is something we need to start talking about especially with our young women and men whose bodies, in addition to being beautiful and lovely, are also at their root horny sexy masses of energy. Let’s not ignore that fact; let’s metaphorically embrace it, and start talking about what sexy really means.

To me on this cold Chicago night, it is probably coming in the form of one of seven delightful speeds…

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Filed under Feminist Rant, Sex

A new spin on sensationalism journalism: The Red Eye’s attempt to make chastity news

Chicagoans were greeted this morning by this blaring headline on the RedEye: “No Sex in the City for these Chicagoans. Let’s cut to the chaste: Some Chicagoans are reclaiming their virginity.” (see the article here: http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/2010/03/no-sex-in-the-city-for-these-chicagoans.html ) Although the RedEye gets half a point for managing to use chaste as a pun, they lose 10 heavy points of credibility for trying to pass off this article as “news.”

Just because Bristol Palin and a “real” Jersey housewife have recently vowed to stay sex-free till marriage, does not mean an abstinence trend is locking up the chastity belts of men and women across the U.S.  Let’s not forget a time with Brittany Spears and Jessica Simpson were both also going to stay chaste till the chapel.  Now Brittany is the half-naked mother of two and Jessica is “sexual napalm.”  The fact is (as printed in the RedEye) a whopping 78% of young Americas have gotten their sexy on this year, and no one should be claiming Americans are brining chastity back.

Although the RedEye attempted to abide by journalistic standards of “fair and balanced “by including both a male and female sexless single, from the front cover of the pouty-lipped Susan Anthony to the gender-defined quotes throughout, it is clear they were as successful as Fox News.

Anthony is quoted as saying, “Don’t get me wrong — I used to enjoy sex and I’m looking forward to experiencing that with my future husband.” Although her choice is respectable, when this quote is put next to a sexy head shot photo of Anthony in a fur coat, hair whipping in the wind, it becomes less plausible. Her statement seems to be saying women should be most sexy by not having sex; a double standard that should have been burnt with the bras in the 70s.

As for the male perspective, George Souri claims he was just sick of manipulating girls into sleeping with him. Now he basically wants to “respect IT [my emphasis, Souri was referring to a woman’s body] in the right way.” He continues to say a woman’s body is sacred and not just a set of parts to use or take for granted. To say this is to take away a woman’s own control and determination of her body and to deny the connection between a woman’s body and her being. It is also puts the emphasis on a woman’s purity and on a man’s responsibility to keep her pure.  But perhaps if society stopped looking at IT or a woman’s body as a thing that needed to be either honored (or manipulated) and started seeing women as entire beings of mind, heart and body, we would not need to restrict a woman’s sexuality.

Finally, this focus on chastity, abstinence or the sexless single life, however one chooses to look at it, is not beneficial to society especially those choosing to have sex. The Guttmacher Institute(http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/fb_sexEd2006.html)  has proven that abstinence-only sex ed programs directly increased the number of unplanned teen pregnancies. The reality is not everyone chooses to withstand from sex; for many reason men and women chose to enjoy sex, experiment with sex and make sex part of their lives.

Pardon the blatant feminist rant, but perhaps we need another sexual revolution. This time instead of woman’s body being something to be separated and honored on the altar of purity or something that can just be purely enjoyed; it should be a part of the woman just as her mind and soul is part of her. Perhaps in our revolution we can learn to love each other and fuck each other equally with a kind of respect that demands no one to stay pure in order to find sexual satisfaction, intimacy or love.

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Filed under WTF RedEye?